Kale Dolmades

Ok. These are a pain in the smokey patoot. Like, no joke, are you kidding me pain in the ass. And the whole time you are making them, you’re like, fuuuuuuck these aren’t going to turn out. But trust me, THEY WILL TURN OUT. This is just one of those dishes that doesn’t come together until the very last minute. So have faith and lets roll.

Boil 8 or 9 kale leaves. Boil them soft and then let them cool.

Dice ½ an onion

In a large pan with deep sides, melt

2 Tbsp of butter

Sautee the onion until soft and then add

1/2 cup rice

Toast the rice until it seems to shine with the butter. Add:

½ cup broth and a squirt of lemon juice

Now stir and stir and stir. And the rice will suck up all that liquid and still not be done. Add ½ cup more and keep going. You are making a half assed risotto, essentially. When the rice has sucked up the liquid and is soft on the outside, but hard as shit on the inside, pull it from the heat and add a healthy (HEALTHY) sprinkle of dill and parsley. Or Italian Seasoning if you don’t have any of that. Stir well.

Now here is the tricky part.

Lay down the kale leaf and cut off the stem with a bit of the leaf. You want to have as “round” a piece as you can. You won’t be able to roll the Kale the same way you roll a grape leaf, so it gets a little wonky. Take a piece of the extra leaf from the stem and lay it flat over the bottom so it overlaps. Place a couple teaspoons of the rice mixture along the spine and wrap that little piece of kale over it. Like a diaper. Then tuck in the top end and roll it up.

Place these little rolls seam side down in a deep sided pot. When they are all lined up, pour 1 more cup broth into the pot. Add the juice of 2 lemons. Add a dallop of vinegar. The liquid should cover the rolls halfway. Cover the pot and simmer on low for 30 minutes.

These bad boys are gonna puff up as the rice cooks and fill up those leaves you were certain were going to be a disaster. I like to chill mine, but how you eat them is up to you.